Wordiness
Also known as verbosity · prolixity
Using more words than an idea needs, through redundancy, padded phrases and filler, as in "due to the fact that" for "because". The cure is conciseness.
- Wordy
- Due to the fact that it is raining, we will make a decision later.
- Concise
- Because it is raining, we will decide later.
In practice
Wordiness is using more words than an idea needs. Redundant pairs ("each and every"), padded phrases ("due to the fact that" for "because"), empty openings ("There are many people who"), stacked hedges and nouns where a verb would do all make a sentence longer without making it say more. Its opposite, conciseness, is not the same as brevity: a concise sentence can be long, so long as every word does work.
The advice is old and consistent. William Strunk Jr. told his Cornell students to "Omit needless words" in The Elements of Style (1918), George Orwell wrote "If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out" in "Politics and the English Language" (1946), and Blaise Pascal apologized in a letter of 1656 that he had made it longer only because he had not had time to make it shorter.
Wordiness costs most where attention is scarce. A teacher grading a stack of essays, an editor or a script reader forms an opinion within a page, and padded prose reads as unsure of itself. Cutting it usually sharpens the thinking as well, since filler often hides the place where the writer had not yet decided what they meant.
Wordiness, cut in a pitch meeting
INT. PRODUCTION OFFICE - DAY
JUNE (50s), a producer, holds a single page covered in red ink. ELI (20s), a new writer, watches her read.
JUNE
"At this point in time, our hero, who is a man who has lost basically everything, makes the decision to try to attempt one last heist." Now say it the way you'd say it in an elevator.
ELI
A man who lost everything plans one last heist.
June caps her pen.
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Eli's written sentence is a catalog of wordiness: a padded phrase ("at this point in time"), a redundant relative clause ("who is a man who"), a filler word ("basically"), a buried verb ("makes the decision to") and a doubled verb ("try to attempt"). The spoken version keeps every idea and loses seventeen words. The scene also shows the test that works: say it aloud, as you would to a person.
Common kinds of wordiness, with fixes
Redundancy says the same thing twice: "past history", "end result", "free gift", "each and every", "completely finished". Keep one word. Padded phrases stretch a single word into several: "due to the fact that" (because), "in order to" (to), "at this point in time" (now), "in the event that" (if), "has the ability to" (can).
Expletive openings delay the subject: "There are three reasons that explain the decline" becomes "Three reasons explain the decline", and "It is important to note that prices rose" becomes "Prices rose." Nominalizations bury the action in a noun: "made a decision" (decided), "conducted an investigation into" (investigated), "gave approval to" (approved).
Hedges and intensifiers add words and take away force. "Very", "really", "basically", "actually", "somewhat" and "I think that" rarely help; one precise word usually beats a weak word plus a booster, so "very tired" becomes "exhausted" and "really big" becomes "huge".
How to fix wordiness
Revise in a separate pass. Drafting and cutting use different kinds of attention, so write first and then read only for length: mark every phrase that could be one word, every "there is" and "it is", every noun ending in -tion or -ment that hides a verb, and every "very". Some writers set a target, such as cutting ten percent, which forces real choices instead of trims.
Find the real subject and the real verb. Ask who does what in the sentence and put them first: "The implementation of the policy was carried out by the board" becomes "The board carried out the policy." Turning passive voice active and nouns back into verbs usually removes several words at once.
Check that the cut kept the meaning. Conciseness removes words that carry nothing, not qualifications that carry something. "Most" and "some" are often doing honest work, and a hedge that marks a real uncertainty belongs in the sentence.
Wordiness in screenplays and dialogue
Script readers are notoriously impatient with dense action lines. Description that explains what the camera already shows ("He walks slowly across the room, moving toward the door") or tells the reader what to feel slows the read and inflates the page count. Many screenwriting teachers advise action blocks of no more than three or four lines, each one earning its place.
Dialogue is different: real people ramble, repeat themselves and pad their sentences, and a little of that is characterization. The rule there is that the wordiness should belong to the character, not the writer. A nervous witness who over-explains is a choice; every character talking in the same padded way is a draft.
Conciseness vs. brevity
Concise does not mean short. A sentence that develops a complex idea may need forty words, and cutting it to ten can drop the logic that connects its parts. The test is whether any word can go without losing meaning, emphasis or rhythm, not whether the sentence comes in under a word count.
Over-cutting has its own costs: telegraphic prose that drops articles and transitions, jargon used as shorthand, and sentences so compressed that the reader has to unpack them. Pascal's apology cuts both ways. A short letter takes time because the writer has to decide what matters, not simply delete.
Common questions
What is wordiness?
Using more words than you need to express an idea, through redundancy, padded phrases, empty openings such as "there are", nominalizations and unnecessary hedges or intensifiers.
What is conciseness in writing?
Expressing an idea in as few words as it needs, with every word doing work. A concise sentence can still be long if the idea requires it.
What are examples of wordiness?
"Due to the fact that" (because), "in order to" (to), "at this point in time" (now), "past history" (history), "made a decision" (decided) and "There are many students who believe" (many students believe).
How do you avoid wordiness?
Draft freely, then revise in a separate pass: replace phrases with single words, cut redundancies, start sentences with the real subject and verb, prefer active voice and strong verbs, and read the result aloud.
Is wordiness a grammar mistake?
No. A wordy sentence can be perfectly grammatical. Wordiness is a style problem: it weakens clarity and force rather than breaking a rule.
Who said "Omit needless words"?
William Strunk Jr., in The Elements of Style, first printed for his students at Cornell in 1918 and later revised by E. B. White.
How does wordiness affect a screenplay?
Dense, padded action lines slow the read, inflate the page count and tire script readers. Lean description, and dialogue that is wordy only when the character is, make a script read faster.